(wiki-special opens inside Nowhere Raceway, inside the Kanker Sisters' trailer (as seen in Ed, Edd n' Eddy" , with the Kanker Sisters, Vicky, Mandark, and Sid Phillips eating breakfast)
Lee: I don't get it! 4 races left in the season, and we are not even CLOSE to striking-distance of the point-leader Ash Ketchum! Team Fastex REEKS! I wish this division had a playoff format like in the NASCAR Winston Cup Series! I wanna move up to that division!
May: Tell me about it, Lee! This Ketchum kid is really making my lips to kiss Ed crack!
Marie: Why can't Ash just have mechanical failures every race?! Why can't NASCAR just let us CHEAT for once?!
Vicky: Yeah, if they allowed it, I'd be putting twerps in the wall faster than you can say "Victory Is Mine!". *cackles evilly*
Sid: You know, if Woody The Wimpy Cowboy Doll and Buzz Lightyear weren't MRN Radio commentators, I would have still been a fraidy-cat of toys, and wouldn't have went back to destroying puny little toys! *laughs evilly*
Marie: Can we just focus on the RACE, Sid?! Geez!
May: Hey Marie, can you pass the milk, my Chunky Puffs are dry. Marie! *Marie ignores her* Pass the milk, my Chunky Puffs are dry! *Marie still ignores her* (hysterically) MARIE!!!!
Lee: Shut up, May! *flips May's seat over, toppling May over as well* (to Marie) Marie, don'tcha hear your sister talkin' to ya?!
Marie: Don't care, Lee! I just wanna race, and get this sh--*bleep* over with!
Mandark: This track WILL be perfect to dominate Team Fastex today, because Marie, you and I are good at racetracks like this! I am starting in 2nd tonight, and I WILL dominate both Ash and Dexter and take all the glory along with you, Marie!
May: Don't forget me--! *Lee throws her bowl at May, toppling her over again*
Lee: Shut up, May!
(Scene goes to outside Libby's hauler with Libby, Carl, Ash, Danny, Misty, Pikachu, Nick Dean, Nazz, Courage, Muriel, Jonny 2x4, Jazz, Robin Snyder, Katara and Joey Wheeler eating breakfast)
Muriel: (sobbing) I just can't believe he's gone! (cries)
(Courage comforts her)
Carl: Gee, Ms. Bagge. We're sorry your husband is dead. It makes me think of the day I thought my goldish, Swimmy (referring to the Jimmy Neutron episode, "Beach Party Mummy") passed away. But then my friend Jimmy from the Winston Cup-
Libby: Carl! (motions him not to say)
Carl: Oh, sorry, Libby.
Nick: It's always a bummer to hear of a relative's passing. Just look at Double-D from the Winston Cup series the day he heard his long-lost brother, Eddwin Marion died in a fatal race accident. (referring to his death in Citiesville where the race after the "2000 Kim Possible 300 Fantasy Edition" wiki took place)
Nazz: Aw, poor Double-D was such a wreck. It took him quite the while to re-cooperate, but now that he has to race in Citiesville tomorrow (foreshadowing the "2000 Chum Bucket 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki taking place the same weekend), he's going through another tough and uncool state.
Danny: No kidding. And who could blame him? I'd be sad and a total wreck too if I lost someone who was a long-lost brother to me in a fatal accident too! Not that having an older sister ain't cool.
Jazz: Aw, thanks, Danny. The past October's been rough for our friends in the Winston Cup. (scene then flashes us back to the previous wiki-races of October; Jazz narrates over the footage) With Bart and Buttercup's feud over Bart accusing his wife the race prior and he nearly perished when he wiped out and nearly drowned. But he survived and apologized to Buttercup and she forgave him. (reference to the "2000 Moe's Tavern 400 Fantasy Edition" and "2000 Pallet Town 500 Fantasy Edition" wikis) Not only that, but Team REXCOR won TWICE in a row through poor play, sportsmanship AND by messing with the race officials! (referring to the "2000 Danny Phantom 400 Fantasy Edition" and the "2000 Wilson Way 400 Fantasy Edition" wikis). Rudy Tabootie's rage against Bubble Bass for his cheating got the better of him and his (Rudy's) actions got him suspended leading Robin to fill in for him the race after! The next race, Garner lied to race officials saying Timmy PURPOSELY hit Crocker when he actually halted at the right time for Timmy to hit him BY ACCIDENT! Then to add insult to injury, Crocker won AND stole the victory away from Timmy! At least Timmy made up for it by winning the Island of Sodor 300 last week. (referring to the "2000 Island of Sodor 300 Fantasy Edition" wiki; scene then flashes us back to outside Libby's hauler) Let's hope they can do it again tomorrow!
Libby: I hear ya, sister, but right now, Muriel and Courage need us to get THEM through THEIR rough time.
Misty: We're all sorry for the loss of Eustace, Muriel. He wasn't the nicest man in the world, but he was family to you AND your husband.
Joey: What was this 'Eustace' about before his time anyway?
Katara: Well, Joey, Eustace was an old man. A cranky, money-grubbing old man version of Eddy who had a want for hair at that.
Ash: Pikachu and Courage seem to really be gettin' along.
Katara: I'll say. I bet Aang's pet winged-lemur, Momo and Ron's naked mole rat pet, Rufus would bond well with Courage too.
Muriel: Oh, I agree, you two. My Courage usually doesn't have good experiences with SOME animals. Why, my late husband even once made friends with an animal who turned out wasn't such a "Precious, Wonderful Adorable, Lovable Duckling" after all. (referring to the very "Courage the Cowardly Dog" episode) Anyway, it was very nice of them to let me be Grand Marshal, My Courage wave the green flag and Ma Bagge (referring to Eustace's mother) drive the pacecar especially when they heard about the loss of my...*sniffles* Eustace. *cries* Oh, Eustace! *soft gasp* Why did you have to go?! *sobs*
Johnny: Plank and I know how you feel, Muriel, Plank here had to accept the deaths of his parents from an accident that decapitated them on Skipper's cardboard bus. (referring to the EENE episode, "Postcards from the Ed")
Muriel: Oh, even for pieces of wood, I'm sure poor Plank must have been devastated. But my Eustace died from old age, that's a much less unfortunate way to pass away than an accident being decapitated. Less unfortunate, but sad nonetheless. When Eustace was complainin' he was sick, Courage and I did our best to take care of him.
Misty: I'll bet Eustace wasn't easy to tend to, huh?
Muriel: Oh, yes, Misty. He complained about his soup being a bit hot, not having his slippers or enough blankets. Before his time, I told him "Tomorrow, we're off to see the doctor. That's all there is to it" and to me he said "Ain't goin' to no doctor." and to Courage, he said, "Stupid dog!"
Libby: *sigh* If only the old guy's last words to you both had been something meaningful.
Courage (to the viewers): I sure wish they had been or my name is Frederick...and it's not.
Muriel: Oh, he looked so peaceful in his coffin. Even with his hat. He would have wanted his hat buried under with him that way.
Robin: For a cranky old man, he must be up in Heaven happy. There's ESPECIALLY a lot of old people in Heaven.
Katara: Right on, Robin. When senior citizens go through health problems in their life, the afterlife grants them eternal GOOD health so they suffer no more.
Muriel: Oh, *sniffles* you kids from Team FASTEX are very sweet.
Courage (nodding): Uh-huh.
Ash: Thanks. (In his head as his thoughts echoed) It's sad that Muriel's husband passed away, but still, Dexter and I gotta keep alert of The Kankers and Mandark in today's race. ESPECIALLY Marie and Mandark!
Jack: Now I'm sure you all know the two reasons for this meeting. A, because of Ash Ketchum and Dexter's AWESOME play last Busch Series race, we must discuss strategies on how we will fare against Team REXCOR for the remaining four races of the season. And B, since this is the Nowhere Raceway track AND The Courage the Cowardly Dog 500, we're honoring Muriel Bagge's late husband, Eustace Bagge.
Ash: You're tellin' me, Jack. Those Kanker Sisters have it out for me! Marie, I hate to admit, DOES have the chops to win this race in today's track!
Dexter: And Mandark has been my rival since day one of our first encounter (referring to the Dexter's Lab episode, "Dexter's Rival"). no doubt will he be at both mine AND Ash's throat AND rear bumper this race!
Eli Gold (TNN): With only 4 races to go in the season, things really get heated up for the title fight. Ash Ketchum is inching closer to winning the NASCAR Busch Series Championship, and a win this evening here in the new Nowhere Raceway WILL give him title. But once again, in order to keep his and his friends' jobs in NASCAR and Team Fastex, the Team Championship in the NASCAR Winston Cup Series MUST be won by Team Fastex. Their race is tomorrow in Citiesville, a PRO-REXCOR racing city! But tonight, the NASCAR Busch Series will be in action on a speedway here in the Middle Of Nowhere! Hi, folks, I'm Eli Gold, along with former NASCAR driver and race analyst, Buddy Baker, and race analyst, Dick Berggren, and this evening's race WILL play a factor in this NASCAR Busch Series Championship.
Buddy Baker (TNN): Indeed, Eli. This racetrack is just as tricky as Phoenix International Raceway, and it has the same characteristics of the same facility. These drivers and teams need to really be careful at a track like this, because one wrong move in the dogleg on the backstraightaway could lead to serious problems, and one might be unfortunate enough to be slammin' the outside wall.
Dick Berggren (TNN): Indeed Buddy, this track can be SO intense. Ash Ketchum NEEDS to watch his back because drivers like Mandark and Marie Kanker could do ANYTHING to take Ash out and decrease his chances at clinching the title. They are REALLY good at tracks like this and don't want him to win, so they are gonna give it all they got to try and deny Ash Ketchum a Championship clinching win and try and keep him from winning the title.
Eli Gold (TNN): Will Ash Ketchum grab a win and the NASCAR Busch Series title this evening? We will find out in 312 Laps! Right now we are set for the command to fire the engines here Nowhere Raceway! Let's go trackside to get the command!
Track P.A Announcer: And now, racefans, it is time to go racing! Please welcome your Grand Marshal, Nowhere's own Muriel Bagge as she delivers the most famous words in all of motorsports! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY LOUDLY*
Muriel: Thank you, Mr. P.A Announcer! And thank you, all! Ever since my Eustace died, it's been DEVASTATING and hard of accepting for me! Therefore, I am in PURE confidence that Team FASTEX will win this race the same way my Courage saves me and my late husband from doom! *crowd cheers loudly* Now, even though my husband would be more of a REXCOR fan...*crowd boos*...a BIG part of me says Eustace will cheer for FASTEX from the Great Beyond from now on because they WANT to honor my late Eustace! But for that awful Team REXCOR, they would only want to win for him because both share a dreadful nature! But FASTEX is something REXCOR isn't and that's having compassion AND morality! They'll feel proud of honoring my husband for as long as they'll live whereas REXCOR will care more about winning for themselves! They'd just view Eustace as anyone else their team has ever met and shunned and would completely forget about him the next day like the awful team they are! (crowd cheers)
(Scene cuts to Nazz's cockpit)
Nazz (wipes a tear; in unison to the cheering crowd): That was...absolutely beautiful!
(Scene cuts to Johnny's cockpit)
Johnny (in unison to the cheering crowd): Right on! That speech had me feeling warm too, Buddy! (referring to Plank)
(Scene cuts back to Muriel)
Muriel: Alright! Thank you all for letting me give my speech! And Eustace, if you're watching from the Great Beyond, I hope you have a fun time watching. Now...GENTLEMEN! START YOUR ENGINES!!!! *crowd cheers EXTREMELY loudly*
(engines start and rev loudly, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd)
(Scene cuts to Marie's cockpit)
Marie: Hey, Ketchum! You ready to lose?
(Scene cuts to Ash's cockpit)
Ash: Hah! I'm afraid you're gonna lose! I've been prepared for this! So you better watch yourself! I'm ready!
(Scene cuts to Mandark's cockpit)
Mandark: Keep dreamin' Ash! (to Dexter) And as for YOU Dexter, you may have beaten me at YOUR racetrack (referring to the "2000 Dexter's Laboratory 500 Fantasy Edition), but mark my words, I WILL have this victory! WHEN you lose, you must serve as crew chief to your golden hair angel sister that drives in your place next race...Dee Dee! (hearts appear in his eyes in unison)
(Scene cuts to Dexter's cockpit)
Dexter: You take that back, Mandark! I would NEVER agree to a STUPID wager like that! Jack Fassler would NEVER even allow such a reason for Dee Dee to drive in my place!
(Scenes cut back and forth to Dexter and Mandark growling at each other)
(Scene then immediately cuts to Misty's cockpit)
Misty: Enough! Dexter, Ash, try not to think about our rival team, but still, think about helping our team win by giving it your all!
(Scene cuts to both Ash and Dexter; visuals next to each other)
Eli Gold (TNN / in unison to the crowd HYSTERICALLY cheering): We're glad you're with us on TNN Sports as we are set to begin the Courage the Cowardly Dog 500 here at the Nowhere Speedway! *crowd cheers LOUDER as the pace-car pulls into the pits* Ma Bagge pulls the pace-car onto the pit-road as Nazz Van Bartonschmeer Dean and Johnny 2x4 will lead the field down to the start/finish line, awaiting the green flag.... *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by Courage, in unison to the HYSTERICALLY cheering crowd*... as Courage the Cowardly Dog himself waves it! We are underway in the Courage the Cowardly Dog 500!